he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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