you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
