You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I am one with the molecules
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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