i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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