Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
