I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
