youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
