i think my tv is drunk
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm like, not good at living.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
