So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize