I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
