I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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