You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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