basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
