Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
