Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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