you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
