i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
