ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My breasts were aching with rage.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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