: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
