omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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