Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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