You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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