I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
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