when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
