She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize