Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
