Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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