I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize