Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
