I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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