Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize