Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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