no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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