Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
