If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Randomize
