Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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