He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
