shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
