u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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