Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
