Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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