My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
