Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
