can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
this hospital has no fireball
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
