Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
