id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
