It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
