I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize