So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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