This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He passed out mid-signature
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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