i need an iv and a liver transplant
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
