I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Randomize
