so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
