Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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