She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
