I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
