last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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