dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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