yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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