He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
