wake up i wanna do it froggy style
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
