Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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