Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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