I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
