Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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