Umm I'm too high to move.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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