Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
