how can u be prego again
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
