a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
